parent-teacher conference

Nothing much has been going on. I guess life has been pretty good because I don't really have anything to bitch about. It's kinda the humdrum, domestic grind going on here. I'm sure no one wants to read about me making my own lunch meat so that it wouldn't have any preservatives or sodium in it. OR the fabulous pumpkin cheesecake, homemade chicken noodle soup, and loaded potato soup I made this week. (I think the colder weather is turning me into Betty Crocker or something.)

The only point of interest around here is that I had a parent-teacher conference today. It was with my 5 year old's teacher. She is sorta insinuating that my little one is ADD. I kinda think she's right, my ex doesn't think a 5 year old can be ADD, my hubby says he could go either way on it, as well as my ex-mother-in-law, but my BFF seems to think the little one is TOTALLY ADD. These are the only people I have consulted about it so far, and we have an appointment with the pediatrician soon. We'll see, I guess when it all boils down it will end up being my decision and I'll go with what's best for her. I am really leaning both ways, I couldn't make a decision about it right now if I had to.

going to the liquor store at 11:30 am , How do you make a rainbow?

I've had a fairly interesting week so far, and I thought I might share a bit with you.

On Monday my hubby and I started our new diet/exercise plan together. This is a big step because my hubby has gotten quite a bit....lazy. It's not as bad as it sounds but since he was diagnosed with Crohn's last year he has gained a lot of weight with steroids and veggies don't agree with him so he's been starching it up and so on. The worst part was I was pretty sure that he gave up. I am fat have always been fat and most likely will always be fat. But I am constantly making healthy efforts, exercising and dieting. If I "gave up" I would quickly be 350 lbs or more, to see him kinda give up frightened me. Not because of the weight, I really don't care about that. Because of the health factors, and if you give up on yourself, what's next?

For a few weeks now, I've made an effort to dress nice,and do my hair and make-up everyday. This is not the usual me, but I'm hoping it will be because when I think I look better, I feel better and I am more aware of what I am doing to myself (with food and all). On Monday I went shopping (Wal-mart) in a pretty red and white dress and was actually hit on in the store! (It made my day) He lost all interest when his eyes made contact with my wedding ring. Oh well, it was nice to be hit on!

On Tuesday I did a lot of filing in my office and completed a lot of paperwork. While going through my in-box stack I found over $300 in checks I had forgotten about. Score! You know that feeling when you find $20 bucks in your jeans, well this was 10x better! Next I went out to run some errands and went by the liquor store. I was feeling kinda bad for going to the liquor store at 11:30 am (I wasn't drinking, just getting a beverage for that night)then, I saw that the sports bar down the street was packed and I didn't feel so bad anymore! Tuesday night we took the kids to their dance class. On the way home the little one had a case of diarrhea of the mouth and we couldn't get her to shush! Questions she asked in a 5 min time frame-
1.) What is diarrhea?
2.) Can you still shave under your arms if there's no hair?
3.) How do you make a rainbow?
So even though I had a headache, I couldn't help but smile and laugh at her!

On Wednesday I ran some more errands and had lunch with my hubby. On the way home we listened to Outkast and danced around in the car. Of the songs we listened to were "Where are my panties?" which is not really a song and "Hey Ya" which is still stuck in my head! That night I went to work in a great mood. I am only there to be around my staff more to break the ice between them and to teach them a little more. It was really weird because I was in a great, joking and playing kind of mood and they really didn't want me there. They hate me. (I keep thinking of that FRIENDS episode when Chandler realizes he can't be friends with his staff because he's the boss.) I'm gonna keep trying!

And today I had lunch with my ex-husband. It it SO nice to see him smiling again. Pretty much all of the crap between us is over and we both came out with a little better understanding of the other. He's still here, downstairs watching TV with our little girl. They look so happy cuddled up together! We'll keep at it, and it will get better and better!

That's all so far this week! I have a lot more planned. I'll let you know how it goes!

dealt a bad hand

All of this drama I've been harping on, it's finally over. I think. It festered up to tremendous proportions and finally exploded. Not on me mind you, onto the person I've been arguing with. It's bizarre that when I finally let go, it finished playing out and taught it's lesson.

I guess I learned a little from this. People have to learn their own lessons. Even grown men. You can't tell anyone what's best. I guess you can say it, get it off your chest and move on. But, they have to figure it out the hard way. I really wish I didn't have to go through the pain or sorrow, but it was necessary. There were emotions that hadn't been dealt with, and I will always protect my child even if I have to fight someone I've always loved.

It's unfair that life has to be so hard for some people. You could say that they bring it on themselves, or they got dealt a bad hand. I don't know. Maybe both. After all that I went through with this you might think that I would want to gloat. Believe it or not, NO. I'm just happy it's over, glad my little girl didn't get involved, hope the lesson was learned, and wish it didn't cause him so much pain and sorrow.

all is right with the world today.

I'm having a great day. The best in about a month. (Since my anniversary.) I've come to terms with the drama that's been bothering me. I've decided to let it go, to not let anyone drag me down with them, to live life happily, and to stay firm but true to my standards of life. Without the drama. Just like with my kids, or my staff, with everything else and everyone else in my life I'm just gonna tell it the way it is and move on. I will not listen to excuses or reasons, they are not important. Do what you're supposed to, how you're supposed to, and there will be no problems. This way of thinking came to me last night, and I am very much at peace with it. Like all is right with the world today. Just like with my staff and kids, I have my reasons (usually the right reasons) for wanting things a certain way. I no longer care to explain them, I no longer care to hear why anyone else agrees or disagrees. If you don't agree with me, move on. Life is too short for all of the problems, and I haven't done this emotional roller coaster in a long time. I refuse to do it anymore. My life is good, if yours is f***** up, I hope you will try to fix it. All of you know that if I can help, I will. I just refuse to let anyone f*** up my life, or my family's. Rock on.

blame God and everyone else

Here's positive for you, people suck. In general most people suck. Think of all of the people you have come in contact with in your life. Now think of the ones you love and surround yourself with. Drastic drop in numbers, huh? That's because people suck. Especially men. They really, really suck! Most men are over grown babies who think the world is against them, when actually they are against the world. If you can't follow the right path and do what is right, it is not everyone else's fault, it's yours. But no. Most men will blame God and everyone else, blinded to the fact it's them. WTF.

Little bit of Jose, Lots and lots of sex

Again, this week has been weird and kinda busy. Still sweeping away the drama, but little specs are sticking around. Maybe I need a professional cleaner.

Just a quick run through of the week.

* Went to jail
* Got scared and canceled a MRI
* Thought my oldest kid had the swine flu
* My 5 year old kissed a boy, and now has been dumped by said boy
* Little bit of Jose, Lots and lots of sex

OK, I threw the lots and lots of sex in for effect. Just some sex.

Also, I didn't really go to jail. Apparently there is a new type of scam going around. The other day the general manager of my store got a phone call stating that I was in the Jefferson County jail, drunk, got into a fight, had a wreck, and got a DUI. (It all boils down to they were trying to get him to wire money.) The nice thing that came out of all of this is that I now know my GM will stop everything he's doing and come fetch me out of jail without telling my staff or my husband what's up. What was really weird is that this person knew I was fighting with my ex, and used it as part of the scam, when only a handful of people know this. (OR, maybe fighting with an ex is just a good standard when you're dealing with chicks?)

My Doctor ordered an MRI to check out a knot that has been in my arm for 5 years. It's no big deal, the scan is just to make defiantly for sure that it is no big deal. Well, I'm a little strange about a lot of things and the idea of being closed in that MRI machine scares the hell out of me. I asked to be scheduled at one of those open MRI places and maybe that's even scarier. They put me in this chair and then scooted it back about 6 feet, then this man used a pillow to hold my arm still, then used two bars to "make a table" (these bars had me locked in) then put my arm in this round thing, then started coming at me with more pillows and straps for the round thing. At that point I felt trapped and the idea of sitting there for 20-25min was as bad as being in a haunted house. So I made him get me out and rescheduled. He said there were other ways to do it, but I was too nerve racked to even try. (And this was all in about 5 mins time!) So I'm going to give it another shot and if there is not a way that is not so restricting I think I'll have to go with a true MRI. I know, pansy, right?

Over the weekend my oldest kid was feeling a bit puny and then on Sunday started running a fever and complained of hurting all over ****flu...swine..flu****Well, we really weren't that freaked out about it. We actually thought if our whole family was going to end up with flu that this was the best time of the year for it. I took her to the doctor yesterday and the poor kid, along with many other kids, had to wear a surgical mask the whole time we were there. It turned out to just be a viral infection with a sinus infection. She is still home from school today and seems fine. She WILL be going to school tomorrow!

On Friday my husband picked up the little one and informed me that she got in trouble for kissing a boy at school. (He was giggling, and kept using the phrase "your daughter") Yeah, well maybe she takes after mom a little on that one. She has been talking about this boy for a while. Why? Because he has a Mohawk. She's going after the bad boys. Yay. Well, yesterday she informed me that he told her she wasn't his girlfriend anymore. She kept saying "yes I am". Oh, dear. She says today she is going to "DUMP" him. Sorry honey, I think he already dumped you. My oldest kid didn't do any of this shit. This is all new to me. And she's five. 5! WTF.

And I am bad. I've been craving Jose and cigarettes. Since I really hate myself after smoking I've been ignoring that craving and gave in to a little bit of Jose last night. I really mean a little. You can't tie one on then get your kid up and out to school!

On other things that have been on my mind I am now at some sort of crossroads. I don't know what I should do, or what I want to do, or what's the best thing to do, and I apparently never knew the truth about what was being done. My heart wants to go left, my mind wants to go right, I don't want to go back, and am unsure about going forward. I guess I'll stand here a while.

I know, you're questioning my sanity now.

You know how Men are supposed to be the hunters? And Women the gathers? Maybe that's true, because I don't know any women who don't like to shop, including me. And what is shopping? Gathering. I am totally a gatherer. Over the past few months my method of shopping has changed. It may lead you to wonder about my mental state. I assure you, it is sound.

Actually, my husband is to blame for this. He came across this woman's blog on digg about how she only spent $800 a year on groceries and household items for her family of four humans and a few animals. He asked me to read it, suggesting that perhaps we could use this method to reduce our monthly out pour to the grocery store. I read it, and have come across some other little tips here and there. Now we have made a change in our spending to about half.

It should be noted that I used to spend about $300 a week on grocery items like food, cleaning supplies and toiletries. Now I spend $100-$150 a week. It probably could be reduced even more, and I may decrease over time but right now I am still working on my stockpile. (Sounds crazy, I know.) I've even been hesitant to tell anyone what I've been doing because it seems so bizarre.

Not only have I reduced the spending, I've doubled or tripled what is brought home. We had to put shelves in our garage, basement and laundry room as well as cleared out a bathroom cabinet for toiletry items that were mostly acquired for free. Also I have a 6ft wide pantry that is stuffed as well as a freezer that is as large as most fridges. I was also so busy with the kids during June and July that I didn't do any shopping other than for bread, milk, eggs, occasional meat and fresh produce (about $25-$30 a week) I'm going to try to explain, I just hope I can get it to make sense.

*First of all you must buy your Sunday newspaper. One for each human household member. I buy 4 a week. That is $8 in newspapers but I use $15-$30 per week in coupons. Check the newspapers for coupons, sometimes around holidays there aren't any.

*Clip any coupon that if the item was free you would take it. You may not use them all but it's better to have them than to regret having thrown them out.

*Check Walgreen's ads for free items. It's usually on the back page or one or two pages before. Sometimes it's toothpaste or shaving creme or toothbrushes or deodorant even OTC meds. It will say something like "$5.99 with coupon for $5.99 off your next purchase, like getting it for FREE!" I always buy that item, even if I don't need or want it. Then the register will spit out this little coupon for the amount of that item. I'll then take that coupon and use it to buy something I want that is on sale. Like dish detergent, canned goods, olive oil, peanut butter, shampoo...whatever. Then you can look at it as you got that item free or the other items, however you wish to view it. In the beginning I would go once per day spending about $5 a day ($35 per week) just piling things up. Now I only go about twice per week. CVS does kinda the same, but it's not as good as Walgreen's.

*I try to hold on to my coupons for a week or two to make sure I'm getting the best value for them. I mostly buy at Publix. I've heard Kroger is good too, but I don't have one here. If I have good coupons I want to use, but haven't seen a great ad for them I'll go ahead and buy at Walmart.

*The whole idea behind the coupon/stockpiling thing is to stack offers. Publix always has BOGO offers as well as "essential items" that are things most people use, but have been deeply discounted. So you use your coupons against what is already on sale.

*I'm going to use my last shopping trip at Publix for an example. I told you I bought $108 worth of groceries for $43 and change. Here is how.
I bought.....
- 8 bottles of V8 splash @1.56 each (it was a BOGO)
-4 boxes Stove Top @.90 each (also BOGO)
-4 jars of Ragu @1.29 each ( essentials price) but also had coupon for .75 off of 2 resulting in @.92 each
-3 bottles of Lysol Spray cleaner @ 1.34 each (BOGO price) but also had .40 off coupon that was doubled resulting in @.54 each
-3 bottles of Shout @ 1.50 each (BOGO price)but had coupon for .55 off resulting in @ .95 each
-6 1lb boxes of Velveta @1.80 each (BOGO price) but had coupon for $1.00 off resulting in .80 each.
-3 Louisiana Decaff tea @1.85 each (BOGO price)
-2 McCormick Black Pepper @1.79 each (BOGO price)
So with tax it was $43 and change. I got a full buggy of stuff, but only multiples of 8 items.
This is where it gets weird. You no longer buy what you want, you stock up on what you can get for your best price. I know, you're questioning my sanity now.

I usually do this, spend $20-$30 on perishables and about $15 on meats for the freezer (Only Items that are on sale like .99/lb chicken breast). Last week I spent $100 on just dog food, but I had about $25 in coupons, so I got it at about 20% off AND I won't buy dog food again for 4 months. You also have to stock and rotate just like a grocery store, paying attention to dates.

Also, if I see that we have more of an item than we could possibly use I take it to the church down the street that has a food bank for our neighborhood. That's also where the items I didn't want or need from Walgreen's goes. So as well as being a weird kind of frugal - we're helping others in our own neighborhood.

It takes a little time to get used to this way of shopping and planning. I spend 30min to 1hr a week clipping coupons and planning my shopping trip, but I feel like it is worth it. A good starting point is the Walgreen's routine as well as continue spending the same amount of money for the first few weeks. Just changing how you spend and reducing over time. I've only been at it since April and I'm still learning.